We are constantly learning new things every single day. Learning need not be a process whereby someone teaches you something in order for you to gain knowledge in a particular area. For me, it can just be a sudden realisation of something.

Disclaimer: Emo-ing begins...

Giving up on something is definitely not easy. It will require lots of courage for someone to give up on something, especially something that you have been holding on to for a long time. But sometimes, it is necessary to give up and not hold on to something for too long. We never know about what is going to happen in the future. Sometimes, giving up may not be a bad idea afterall.

I've gave up going to ocs (a dream that I had since I don't know when). It isn't easy for me to give up that dream... My BMT posting really affected me a lot, and caused me to emo for many months. Ever since then, I've changed... I've changed from someone with zero confidence to someone with negative confidence and super low self esteem. I've started to question myself on the reason why I wanted to enter OCS that badly. I realised that the zero is cos of the prestige. I want my parents, my friends and my commanders to be proud of me. I want to fulfil my brother's dream for him. Furthermore, it acts as a confidence booster for me, proving to myself that nothing is impossible if I put in my 200% (only for stupid people like me, normal people only need to put in 101%) in everything I do. In the end, things didnt turn out the way I wanted it to be. My confidence booster backfired and dampen my morale instead... Life really isn't worth living anymore...

Luckily, scs turned out not bad. At least I get to spend more time with my beloved Viper platoon 2 section 1 peeps. I get to enjoy a lepak life too! And thank god I'm a SCT, cos my recent interaction with OCT makes me think that they are disgusting creatures. Okay, maybe not that extreme lah... But I just don't like the way they behave... See! Things weren't that bad afterall. Erm, angmohs call this...eh...a blessing in disguise? Yup.

Failure to get into the CBRE vocation also demoralises me... I want my risk pay!!! And yes, speaking of risk pay, why is it that bridging engineers don't get risk pay? Hello?! We climb up that freaking huge M3G anad 5-tonner to camou it, what if we fall from the top? What if we fall off the boat and get eaten by those hungry catfishes? What if we got raped by xiao huang at night? It's risky k?! CBRE people seldom get to come in contact with hazardous chemical and explosives, so doesn't it sound logical that bridging engineers should have risk pay as well? Okay, maybe what they are getting isn't risk pay but rather allowance cos they have their weekends burnt. Then what about us?! We burn nights leh... Poor bridgin engineers always have so little sleep....

Okay... I guessed I got too worked up le... As I was saying, I really didn't want to go bridging... But after two weeks in bridging, I actually enjoyed it more that I expected myself to... I was so busy and shag that I didn't have time to think about emo stuff. And most importantly, I get to this interesting young man. Hello, stalker! You know I'm refering to you huh? Hahaha. And this brings me to my next point of friends.

Yup. people said that there is nothing as everlasting friendship. But the usual stubborn JQ, me, obviously wants to prove this wrong. I had a good friend and no matter how much we quarreled, I chose to hang on to this friendship. I believed that after every quarrel, friends get to know each other better, and hence, their friendship will get stronger. Until recently... I'm really sick and tired of this shit le, and I think it's time to give up. I thought I will be sad, but I'm not... Turns out that I am happier than before cos I do not have any troubles anymore... Furthermore, I had a good look and realised that I have so many other friends who care for me and yet I didn't notice it last time. I guess I'm suffering from some sort of severe myopia ba... I made the right choice this time. And it's by giving up. I have no intention to let things go back to how they were like a few months ago. And just like what you've said, may memories remain as memories. Memories that can be replayed are no longer memories anyway... Yup.




*emo-ing ends*